Spoiler Morghulis: The Game of Thrones Season 8 Episode 2 Recap

I just want to say that for an episode that was restricted to just one location with no action whatsoever (that’s a lie. someone was getting some action), this was one of my favorite episodes of all time. Top five, red wed or alive. So let’s get to it.

The episode opens on Jaime Lannister standing before the mother of dragons, the lady of Winterfell, and the warden of the north, essentially standing trial for all that bad shit he’s done in the past. Jaime’s one of my favorite characters. He’s had an incredible arc that began in season one with him pushing a child out of a tower window, to where we currently stand, with him defying his sister with benefits and marching north to a certain death.

One of his first acts of redemption was protecting Brienne of Tarth several seasons ago and paying a hefty price for it (his hand). And good thing Brienne was there at the trial to bring this up. She informs Sansa that his actions directly lead to her staying alive. This changes Sansa’s mind. When Daenerys asks Jon for his input, he also figures Jaime could lend a hand (get it?). Instead of becoming a dragon snack, Daenerys agrees to let him live and fight for the living.

Moving on. If Bran was the king of the creepy gaze in episode one, Arya took up the mantle this episode, repeatedly spying on Gendry and his muscles while he made dragonglass weapons in the pits of Winterfell. To be fair, it’s not a creepy gaze, per se. It’s a sensual one. Every time Arya and Gendry interact, there’s a sexual tension present that conflicts me as a viewer. I’m equal parts rooting for Arya to get some, while at the same time feel a sense of discomfort primarily due to the fact that the actress, Maise Williams, was 11 years old when the show began, and thought she’s 22 now, still looks maybe 13. Gendry, on the other hand, is a grown ass man. Still, despite my own discomfort, this was completely relevant and essential to Arya’s arc.

And while Arya and Gendry were subtextually flirting, Jaime and Bran were having a long awaited conversation in front of that creepy tree with the face on it. Jaime questions why Bran didn’t reveal that season one stiff arm that would have definitely put him over the execution edge. Bran informs him that he is no longer Bran. He’s something else entirely. And if he was to mention that little piece of history, Jaime wouldn’t be alive today to get killed by white walkers tomorrow.

Jaime then runs into Tyrion. They reminisce about the good old days, when they were both younger, blonder, one a whoremonger, the other a sistermonger (is that a word?). Man, those were the days, but while none of us ever rooted for Jaime and his sister the way we root for Jon and his aunt, once Jaime began to transition from lawful evil to chaotic good, there was a lady from Tarth we all secretly hoped he’d end up with. And in a way, he has.

In our third straight scene with Jaime, we find him conversing with Brienne, complimenting her battle strategy and requesting to fight under her command. There’s a different type of tension going on here. Love versus Respect. Brienne is in love with Jaime. If there’s an “in love” version of respect, that’s what Jaime has for Brienne. He’s in respect with her, but seems to be aloof as to the romantic feelings she has for him. Or maybe he just lacks the confidence to think that anyone, including Brienne, would find him desirable these days. But let’s be honest. Gray, grizzled, and one handed Jaime is still top five red wed or alive (i’m making that a thing).

Elsewhere in the castle, Jorah takes Daenerys aside and puts in a good word for Tyrion. Despite royally mucking up by directing Daenerys to actually trust Cersei, Tyrion is an asset Daenerys can’t afford to lose. Jorah has another suggestion for Daenerys, in addition to not feeding Tyrion to the dragons. She should maybe go have a little one on one chat with the Lady of Winterfell herself, Sansa Stark.

Sansa and Daenerys are two very strong characters with very strong personalities, and at the moment, they’re not really seeing eye to eye. In the world of Westeros, that usually means one of them has to go. And I’m usually all for it, but not with these two. It would be so much better if they were able to find some common ground, or at least separate the current common ground into two different common grounds without anyone getting barbecued or their throat slit. And in their little one on one chat, there is a hint of mutual respect and admiration, right before the mutual stubbornness kicks in.

Daenerys slides in complimentary, commending Sansa for being a strong female leader, like herself, but questioning why she feels a tension between them. Sansa comes back, apologetic, admitting she could have been more thankful and welcoming, but also expressing her concern that her brother Jon could be manipulated by someone under the pretense of love. In an act of complete vulnerability, Daenerys admits that if anyone’s been manipulated by love, it’s her. They seem to bond over Daenerys’s admission and even make a passing joke about Jon’s height. Then shit gets real. Sansa makes it very clear that, should they defeat the white walkers, and later Cersei, the north will not bow down (when she comes to their town, or when she’s northward bound. a little westside connection for yo ass.)

Before Daenerys has a chance to respond to this hypothetical future in which they actually survive, Theon shows up. Then Tormund, Beric, and Edd Tollett show up. And before you know it, everyone’s in the war room going over strategy. Writers D.B. Weiss and David Benioff must be some Star Wars prequel fanboys because Jon Snow’s plan is straight out of The Phantom Menace. Remember when Anakin destroys the droid control ship and every single robot on Naboo shuts down. Basically, Jon assumes once they take out the Night King, all the white walkers will just fall to the ground. In order to get close to said Night King, they’ll be using Bran as bait.

Here’s my fantasy Phantom Menace slash Avengers: Endgame fanboy theory. As the white walkers get closer to Winterfell, the Night King continues to resurrect the dead, including those in the Winterfell crypt. We’ll see a bunch of our favorites get killed, then later reanimate as white walkers. Once they take out the Night King, the dead won’t just die, they’ll stay alive, as normal people, resurrecting not only our recently dead favorites, but some of the old Stark family line, including Jon Snow’s mom, Lyanna. Not only would this be an emotional conclusion, but strategic one as well, as now the Northern army would be large enough to march south and take over King’s Landing. And that’s why I’m no longer a professional screenwriter.

After the war room meeting, everyone disperses, spending their potentially last night alive doing everything from having soup (Sansa and Theon) to having sex (Arya and Gendry). The real party takes place in the great hall where Tyrion, Jaime, Tormund, Davos, Brienne, and Podrick all happen to find themselves. In this scene, we find out why Tormund is called Giantsbane ( he suckled from the breast of a giant for three months). We find out that women can’t be knights (tradition). We also find out soon after that you actually don’t need a king to make a knight. Just another knight.

This scene really got me in the feels. From Brienne pretending she never wanted to be a knight. To Jaime offering his knighting services. To Brienne’s reaction upon being knighted. To the rest of the group’s reaction to her being knighted. When she smiled through the tears and everyone began to cheer and toast her name, I couldn’t help but think…they’re all gonna die.

Elsewhere, after Sam offers up his Valeryan steel sword to Jorah, we find ourselves in the Winterfell crypt, where Jon stares at one of the dead’s statues. Daenerys approaches from the shadows. Staring at the statue herself, she asks Jon who it is. He simply replies…Lyanna Stark. She brings up her brother Rhaegar and the contradictions of his character, from how kind she always heard he was, to what he ultimately and horribly did to Lyanna. Jon turns, and proceeds to drop the bomb on her (Gap Band style). He tells her what really happened (secret marriage). He tells her his real name (Aegon Targaryen). He tells her how he found out (Wikileaks, aka Bran and Sam). She doesn’t take it well. She literally says, “Fake news”. She doesn’t literally say fake news, but she does understand the ramifications of what-

HORNS BLOW!!!!

The White Walkers have arrived. See ya next week.